Let’s talk about fear today. A strong man is not one that has eliminated all possible and definite sources of fear, but one who is ready to slice through all possible situations with a calm mind.
What situations you would ask? Not those that involve physical muscle even if it’s necessary but those that involve emotional muscle. Let’s take for example the case where your woman is being swayed by another man. For many a man, this will call for some kind of physical involvement, either with the woman or with the man.
Have you ever thought that you can actually settle these kinds of situations simply by trying to be understanding? There is this situation that happens with incumbents (current men). This normally is the reason voids are created in the hearts of women.
As the man in her life, you have probably given her loads of flowers and you don’t think she needs any more of that, you have taken her many places and you have run short of places to take her, you have bought her several pieces and whole cakes, you probably think there is no need to buy her Hamona treats, you have probably given her many big things you think there’s no need for small things… or actually you have not given her anything or taken her places but you have done things in the interest of your future together…. you have done much really, you think it’s enough to ride on for the rest of your lives.
But here is the thing: relationships are like flowers, you can water it diligently and it flourishes, but when you stop, it will gradually wilt because of the lack. The gradual lack is what creates the gradual void and you find your woman being lured by a new man who now is just starting to shower her with all the attention you have not showered her with for some time. She starts to glow and love it too. We all love to feel good. So rather than try to fight because you think she is making you seem inferior and she seems ungrateful for all you have done for her, it’s about time to revert her attention to your relationship by listening and trying to understand the situation you two have gotten into and begin showering her heart with desire. Again.
We rarely want to admit that even people in love can fall for others outside their affair, mainly because admitting to such is to somehow show that we are not as good as we ought to be. Many will tell you that if you have fallen for a new one, it means you never loved the first one in the first place. Wrong. Love fades especially if we do not work at maintaining it.
You may love your woman real deeply but find that she is picking on attention from another man, as it so often happens. So does that mean she has never loved you or has always lied to you? Noooo, does that call for you going physical with her in a violent way or with the new guy because you feel violated? I think not, because more often than not, we can straighten this by just listening to her why’s. This is when emotional strength comes in to banish the fear you could be having, that you could be less ideal for her and which fear makes you start feeling insecure about yourself.
When your woman is falling for another it’s not time to be afraid. It’s time to evaluate. It’s time to restart. Often times a woman will follow another man’s advances because there has been a void created in her by the way you love her. Believe me, sometimes they don’t actually go out looking but they find themselves either manipulated by sleek men who know how to recognise the void in them, or they simply slip into the feel-good feeling that comes with new interest from a new person.
I think men should normalise talking to their women in an effort to evaluate how well it’s going. And, yes, and, if a woman should voice interest in another person it shouldn’t be the beginning of a fight, but rather the beginning of a trace into where things went off track. Instead of being all scared that you are not man enough for her, it should be the time to re-evaluate yourself and re-align with her needs. After all, if she fell for you in the first place, there must have been some good in you and if she is straying, that good must have slipped or must be slipping. It’s in your best interest to help her find her way back to your heart instead of following another. Love is about hearts feeling good. So regular goodness makes good loving.
It’s possible. You have to be strong and lead your relationship to where you want it to be. You have to be an emotionally intelligent and strong leader. No need for fear, only love wins here.
Hamona. We love. Love.