are you leading her

Where are you leading her? Do you know?

Once upon a time, the man was the leader of the family. It was important that he had his thoughts organised and at least had an idea where his family was heading and how it would behave.

He was the architect and engineer and somehow his family was a true reflection of his thoughts and beliefs because he actually made sure they all move in the way he thought they should. And because his determination was visible and his instruction clear, his family did not need an introduction as it carried all the well-known mannerisms about him, that people would just point out that a said person had to be his child because they behaved exactly like him.

She on the other hand was his support. Listening clearly to what he suggested and following with trust because she believed in his beliefs and abilities. She had known his abilities since courtship and had placed all her trust that the road map was clear in him.

And then the man changed. He reversed roles without prior notice and agreement with the woman.

He now looked up to her to steer his family forward, leaving her to draw the plans and engineer them. And that left her confused. While she tried to gamble in making the road map and drawing all the structures, she still has to play support because he did not pick up her roles on abandoning his, even as she took on his.

She now has a double burden and she may not be doing a perfect job of it. And now he blames her. And he shamelessly says she is not doing enough. Is it her role to lead the family forward? Is it her role to support her decisions while he does what exactly?

If you are this kind of man, do you realise your union is bumpy because you are moving forward with a confused female? Confused not because she is unable but because she is wondering where she went wrong to have picked up your responsibilities and made them hers even though you still exist in the relationship? Confused because she doesn’t know your role now, to enable her to play her role of support, confused because she is being blamed for things she shouldn’t be….

Do you know she may have emotionally left the relationship even though she is present in person because she can not really piece it together?

Where are you leading her, do you know? Have you made sure she knows if you know?

We still sell delicious Hamona treats by the way, please click on our shop and order something for her. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day, it will have its own delicacies. Order now, at our shop

At Hamona we love. Love.

Wishing you a happy new year filled with love

Happy new year!! It’s a new year and a beautiful time to discover, observe and embrace new ways of loving and get on the road to new happiness. You deserve it!

You know sometimes we don’t feel loved because we do not pay attention to love. The beauty of love is that it comes in all sorts of ways and at all sorts of times and with all sorts of vibes. It can be grand and it can be subtle, it can also be illustrious. In whatever way it comes to us, it’s always there if you care to see it.

Each one of us is different and thus we will love differently. Some of us have had no childhood nurture of affection and as thus we do not know the best way to express that which we strongly feel inside, so we struggle with putting on the best display, others have been hurt and traumatized by the ones who would have made them feel comfortable with showing love so they are very careful not to make it bleed, but they love us still in their own way and hope we recognize it, and others know exactly how to paint a perfect picture of what love is doing to them and display it without any fear.

So when we are in love, we need to listen to love’s actions with our inner hearts and see it with our inner mind.

It can come in the seemingly small fact that she or he waited for that midnite hour to wish you a happy new day which indicates that he or she was thinking about you all this while but kept carefully waiting for that moment when it made the most sense. Show me, love, if this is not it.

Love is made of little moments and big moments, by not focusing on only the big stuff we get to enjoy the beautiful situation and feeling that love is.

What is your partner’s loving style? Is it grand, subtle or illustrious? If you have not found out what it is, give yourself a chance to examine their little and big acts with an open mind, you may discover all the love that you’ve been missing and in the process, you may take your happiness and appreciation to a new level.

At Hamona we love to love. Love

You know that love is not a single application kind of feeling.

You know that love is not a single application kind of feeling. Right? You know that just because you bought her a beautiful necklace yesterday doesn’t mean she is fixed forever right? You know that just because you took her to the movies last February doesn’t mean she is still riding on that right? You know that just because you bought her a beautiful, delicious Hamona treat she still needs more. Right?

Love is a situation that needs regular evaluation and constant care to keep it in good shape. Sometimes we love by just being in tune with the other’s feelings, sometimes we love by being there even when they are being unreasonable because sometimes, truthfully, we all become unreasonable.

Sometimes we love by being the source of strength for the other, or even for both of us, sometimes, by being the drape that covers the other’s nakedness, yet sometimes by being the very soul that carries them along.

Sometimes by being the glue that makes the bond stick properly, because sometimes life’s little battles may seem to tear us apart. Sometimes we love by upholding the values that we know the other holds dear even when life is making it hard for them to keep those values themselves.

I said love is a situation. It’s a situation that brings feelings. Feelings that motivate us to fly or be our best selves ever. Feelings that make us see life in a positive way, feelings that inspire us to love living itself, feelings that make our very existence worthwhile.

Love is a situation that we have to continuously pamper in order for it to be desirable. If you bought her something yesterday, tell her today how she makes you feel, open yourself up and give her you, take her to a beautiful place next week or hold her regularly for no reason. Tell her how beautiful she is, tell her how important and impactful she is in your life and be genuine, take interest in her life and what means the world to her, take away her pain as best as you can…..

This situation that love is, is made beautiful by active thoughtfulness. And that’s what makes it grow.

So, thank you for buying her a Hamona treat last time. Thank you for supporting Hamona confectionery, men like you are the hinge that life is held on, you are very important to our existence. And please go through our shop and pick her another delicious treat as we have many to delight her.

Together let us make this situation as desirable and as enveloping as can ever be. Let’s grow love and make our lives better for living. Giving is a double-sided sword. It cuts both ways. In a good way.

Hamona. We love. Love.

That woman is your ticket to comfort. Just let her be.

Sometimes men are touched by women who are not their own when they see how those women seem to prop their men up. True, women help motivate men to be their best selves by supporting them and believing them in their endeavours.

Deep down every woman has a desire to see their man get to the top. Professionally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Some women however are unable to do this because some men do not provide an enabling environment for such growth.

Take for example a woman who checks on a man when he is so late coming home but is reprimanded for being insecure or weak. A few times of trying this will make the woman give up and try to not care. Because the reason she calls in the first place is to check on her sweetheart’s well being. Although women know that men are strong and can take care of themselves, they still care to know if there’s a way they can support them in whichever way they can. They call out of care.

It would be simpler for her if she called and the man let her know not to worry because he is out late with friends and he will be safe. Such a woman will relax and do what she needs to do while waiting for his return. Maybe take a short nap so she can wait on him when he is having dinner later, or warm some water for him if that’s not a privilege in their washrooms, and she will generally be in a good mood to hear about his day when he finally comes home, or even the following day if it’s too late to talk when he gets home.

Talking back kindly to women and validating their concerns builds confidence in them which then they use to believe in and support their men in whatever they do.

Let’s look at another way that may stand in the way of women propping their men up. Some men actually do not have a plan. Not a drive. They live the day as it comes. They don’t have a road map.

While some men have a vague idea of how they want their tomorrow to look like and discuss their road maps with their women who end up helping them make it clearer and sometimes walk with them, other men can actually not share their plans with their women. They have an unhealthy belief that women are of little capability, thereby ignoring the fact that women as their helpers are supposed to see them through whatever plan they have chosen to follow.

Other men still, simply do not have a plan! These men are irritated by the woman trying to help them formulate a plan for a road map they may both follow to a better tomorrow, they see the woman as trying to be dominant. But the woman is in a dilemma. She knows her role is not to plan for this man’s future because that too will make him feel less manly, but she is denied her role of helper to help this man and they both find themselves trudging on aimlessly, frustrated and bitter.

Women in what seems like their weakness are strong beings. Women are very protective of their men in all aspects and a man who allows his woman to play her role will find peace in life because she will accord him all the soft support he needs to achieve his goals.

The women men admire as having supported their men to their best potential are the women whose men have discovered the power of a woman’s role in being there to walk with them on their journey to their set goals.

Where are you in your relationship with your woman? Have you let her take on her role to help you succeed emotionally, physically, professionally and spiritually or do you think that the other women you see from a distance are made of a different breed?

We sell cakes here, by the way, we write these articles so passionately sometimes we fail to keep reminding you to buy your woman a Hamona treat from our shop. That’s how much we care about the emotional health of your relationship.

Please order a treat from our shop. Let us cake your feelings. That’s what we do.

Hamona. We love. Love.


Water can always flow in directions it has flown before. If allowed to.

Similarly, love can always exist where it has existed before. If allowed to.

Many times as we relate we fail to harmonise our relationships and slowly by slowly they become shadows of the once beautiful things they were. We start looking out for new partners when actually we could work on the relationships with the ones we are with, because, there was and still is, although now hidden on frustrations and misgivings, something that attracted us to each other and made us want to spend eternity together.

Sometimes we have conflicting ideas that we do not give ourselves a chance to slice through and see how we get ourselves on the same page.

Sometimes we do not take time to know our partners’ likes and dislikes. We do not communicate the things that make us uncomfortable in the relationship and we do not take time to communicate our expectations in the relationship

At Hamona we want to have beautiful pain free worry-free relationships. We have looked into the areas that normally would bring the conflict to our relationships and we have packaged them into a beautiful picnic setting to help us talk about them in a lovely way.

Talk to us about your relationship style and we will recommend the best package for you

Let’s go back to the basics with this relationship thing, you’ll thank us later

You know how relating can be tight. Sometimes we find ourselves hanging on by a thread, sometimes barely relating with each other despite occupying the same spaces, and sometimes we have made commitments that may not allow us to let go.

Many times when we relate we focus on the feel-good factor and we may not necessarily focus on deep issues like how our actions and reactions are met by the people we relate to. Sometimes these actions and reactions create deep rifts between the relationship and you find it’s not as much fun as it was when we started out.

The problem is, that when we only focus on the feel-good sensation that comes in the early stages of love, we may not focus on why our partners do what they do to us, and how what we do with them makes them feel. We miss out on discussing the visions of our love relationships, about how little big and small things are likely to play out in the course of our being together and about our hidden fears and undoings, yet these are the things that dictate how smoothly our relationships will go.

Let’s take an example of a man who does not feel appreciated for what he does in the relationship, which may not mean the woman does not appreciate, but rather has not communicated verbally so the man is unsure. He then gets a void inside him, of wanting to share this most times painful fact but most probably will not find it easy to bring it up with his partner because there has not been the cultivation of this kind of conversation in this relationship prior to him feeling this way.

Or take an example of a man who wishes for his partner to take up some of the roles in the relationship but this desire has been popping up over time and he can not see how to bring it up for discussion. He moves and lives with an unmet need.

It is always important that at the start of a relationship before any commitments have been made, we talk about deep issues of our persons.

At Hamona we appreciate the power of talking and giving of self in material, physical and emotional ways because we know this to be the foundation of an enjoyable relationship. And, because most people skip this important step in the build-up of their love affairs, Hamona has committed to helping you evaluate where your relationship is at, and how best you can move it forward and create harmony for a beautiful fulfilling relationship.

We bring you our exciting picnic treat package where we have included carefully thought out love play cards that will guide you into having deeper insights into your relationship and create a deeper understanding for your partner.

We shall be rolling out this exciting addition to our treats starting next week and you can always get in touch with us to see which package suits your current relationship state.

At Hamona we love. We want to see you love. Love the best and most exciting way possible because honestly, we only live once. We ought to make it memorable.

Love can hurt, unfortunately

So, there’s a pain in your love life. Yea? There’s pain. OK. But why?🤔 You can not really point at the reason. Right? OK.

Love hurts, but only when it’s not right or when it’s not handled right.

How? If you are insecure and always believe your partner does not love as much as she says she does when you mop up all your fear that you might lose her to someone else due to whatever you have told yourself, or if you run the new relationship basing on your unpleasant old experiences, or when you do not love her properly so she does not reciprocate the love you give her…. and when you do not understand what love is.

Love opens us up and sadly exposes our innermost softness which makes us vulnerable. If your issue is insecurity you are constantly wondering if what she sees as your inside is good enough and you are always trying to get confirmation from her on how good you are. It may hurt if she does not validate you from time to time.

Also, when you mop up all the pain caused by past loves and decide to experience them together with the new love. I say decide because you have the power to trust and love fresh and it’s only your choice to do so.

When two different people relate, sometimes the bond does not set immediately, so while you try to learn each other, it’s understandable that you may get genuine pains here and there, and if in such times you happen to be carrying all your past pains, you will be overwhelmed and confuse your lover which may lead her to back away from you which may cause you immense pain.

You are probably here because you want to buy her a gift but you fear she could leave you and hurt you even after you have invested in her. Guess what? There are no certainties in life, just go ahead and order her a delicious treat from our shop to make her love you more because she appreciates you thinking of her.

Why else would love hurt? When you do not love her properly. When you love someone it’s very important to understand their love language. When you speak someone’s language you touch them deeply and they are drawn to you because they feel understood and they understand you properly.

What’s your lover’s language? Have you ever cared to find out, if not, could love to be painful because you two have failed to understand each other because you speak different languages??

Love will hurt if you don’t understand what it is. Love is knowing someone and appreciating them in different desirable ways. Do you know your lover’s views on different aspects of your union?

At Hamona, we have discussion cards to help guide you two through a meaningful personal conversation about your love and your goals. And now that you know, watch this space for details about our Love themed picnics.

Now that you have identified why love would hurt, go right ahead and order her sweet Hamona treats from our shop and set yourself on the road to sweet painless love.

Hamona. We love. Love.

Emotional health

Emotional health, a tool in eliminating fear

Emotional health. It has to be a conscious effort. It has to be a relentless mission. It has to be an ever-present goal.

The emotional health of both your partner and your relationship. The hidden reason we work hard, the hidden reason we strive as much to be gratified. That’s true for all of us. Each gratification may come in different colours but will be gratification nonetheless.

Money, after you attain it, will help you to attain the things that make your heart relax and bring you peace of mind. You will then be grateful that you are not yearning or anxious for anything. Your emotions will be healthy.

Similarly, while relating, if your partner can give you that same feeling, you will be grateful and relaxed and happy, all these are healthy emotions.

However, in our quest for the other things that aid us to get the things that make us grateful, we forget the unions for which we strive, from which we get healthy emotions. We forget the people that we partner with to help us attain that lasting gratification, we forget that daily we have to check on their state of well being and ability to still walk with us through our goals of attaining gratification.

We give in to the pressures of the world and sometimes they make us tense, that when we try to relate with our partners, we are inconsiderate of their feelings and we do not give them enough attention.

What this does is that it creates frustration in their hearts and with time they learn to find things that will give them pleasure or gratification. Problem is, that sometimes the things that give them gratification are other people taking on the roles we have neglected, then our union will suffer, and sad thing is, by the time you may realise the relationship is changing from what you originally envisioned, allegiance has already been shifted and now a war of sorts breaks out.

Emotional health. It is that which will help us communicate important or even hard stuff to our partners because we both believe in our goal. It breeds trust.

Emotional health is that which makes us value our partner’s point of view even when it’s different. It breeds understanding.

Emotional health. It is that which helps us think about what the other needs and we try to help them achieve it. It breeds empathy.

Emotional health. It is that which values companionship and closeness. It breeds unity.

Emotional health. It is that which guides us to the Hamona online shop to buy a treat even if it’s just for just. It breeds appreciation.

Emotional health is that which makes us daily strive to be the best versions of ourselves to our partners. It breeds long-lasting gratification.

Emotional health. It is an art that we can all learn. It is that essential to our well being. It is the reason we are at peace with who we are.

Lets Talk About Fear Today

And for most of us who have grown up in African families, we find ourselves in somewhat difficult situations in love.

You see, in most of our settings, feelings have not been brought to the fore sight. We grow up with fathers who never spare time to explain how stuff works to us or how to handle our feelings, mothers who expect us to learn from our fathers, and uncles who believe we shall know things somehow. Before we know it we are thrown into adulthood and we gamble our way through it all.

We now have to start looking for money in ways we have not been trained in sometimes, we take on responsibility of taking care of females when we don’t know how to take care of ourselves yet, but because our bodies are now yearning for them, we gamble through taking care of them somehow.

What this does to us is that we do not get a moment to understand ourselves, we do not get a chance to voice our fears and frustrations because we are trying to be seen as men who know what they are doing, while secretly wishing someone actually showed us what to do and how to deal with our feelings. We become scared boys in big men bodies trying to put on big men attitudes and barely managing it all.

Then come the females who have spent their growing time being exposed to feelings by their mothers and they have mastered how to handle themselves and are now looking up to us to lead them like their fathers led their mothers.

We get a conflict here because we are not comfortable with exploring feelings in depth like they do, and that’s when the crises arise. We are accused of not loving them and when it gets too much for us, we think the next female might be easier to handle so we fly on and find another. This may go on and on until we have a string of them, not because we love collecting women but because we are looking for that particular one who will be easier to handle and make it easier to not explore our feelings because we are not comfortable with them.

Sometimes we are badly damaged by our growing up environment that we have deep shame and fear that no one would love us truly if they got to know how we feel deep down, so we put a limit to how much of ourselves we can give to the females in our care. This has been one of the reasons love has been hard for us.

In the next post we shall continue on this topic and we shall look at how we can have emotionally healthy relationships despite our experiences…

Let’s buy some cake for now. Check out our shop and order a delicious treat for your loved one.

Hamona. We love. Love

We share love, we become great

It might seem like we only write about problems in relating. Which is a bit true, but we look at it this way: We love by acknowledging the bad too. We know that when the love is right, somehow everything falls in place and all the stars are the right size. Every one of us has a different way of loving and a preferred way of being loved.

It is only when love goes bad or is going bad, that we may have a unified way of feeling. It hurts. Period. So, because we know what brings on the pain, we try to address those issues we have realised make love go sour, all in an effort to keep it sweet because ultimately, at Hamona we love; we want you to love, to love the best and sweetest way possible.

So today we will just say a little something about our products and come back in the next post with our love issues.

We bake our products with you in mind. There come times when you just want to close your eyes and give yourself a sweet feeling. We call this self-love. Love comes easy when you love yourself well, so in those times when you feel like you want to appreciate yourself and motivate yourself, reach out and order a treat from our online shop. We Deliver to your doorstep at a fee, depending on where you are located. Reach out, order yourself a Hamona treat.

Also, we bake with your loved ones in mind. In those times when you just want to sweetly say I love you or I appreciate you, reach out and order them a Hamona treat. Love is sweeter when done right, and nothing is more right than telling your special person that you think about them without using words. Who doesn’t want to receive sweet surprises?

At Hamona we love. We want you to love.