Have you ever thought that you could be the reason loving her is hard?

Sometimes, it’s not the woman making love so hard. It’s you actually.

You know how we all go through stuff that scars us and make us fearful and sceptical? You could have gone through a bad affair earlier before you met her. Maybe you grew up with an auntie whose behaviour with men you did not approve of, or your mother actually, you did not appreciate the way she treated your father or your father, he had a demeaning way of treating women that made you believe its the normal way and you can’t understand why she seems to disagree with your ways; or it was an ex-girlfriend who treated you horribly and scarred you. You got broken whether directly or indirectly.

Our society is not really one that’s known to address emotional stuff, so you can carry around your scarred self and keep giving him to women. These women may have good intentions towards you but little, little things they do could act as triggers that set off the bomb that already resides inside you.

This may explode on her and make her confused as she does not see how she could have been at fault. Or you may fault her for everything that your auntie, mother or earlier women in your life did, bundle her up with them and with time make her frustrated; or, it could be that your earlier unpleasant experiences led you to be closed up, and here she is, trying to love a whole you not knowing that you can not give her all of you because part of you is not really available.

She becomes either nagging trying to bring you out so she can get all of you, or suspicious that someone is taking the part you are not giving her, or worse still she becomes desperate and hurt believing she does not deserve you.

When love starts out it can be so exciting and fulfilling until she starts loving you towards that place where your scars are, and you close yourself off and get fright and flight which gets her confused.

Before you blame her for being hard to love, have you let yourself go in this relationship? Have you trusted her with your scars and seen how she can tend to them or are you running around trying to find places to hide them while blaming her for chasing you around and not understanding you?

Love is about openness. The two souls involved have to open and unite and if you open just partially then love can not blossom. So, before you put it on the woman, ask yourself if you have given her your all.

Love is about taking risks too, letting another see your good, your bad and your ugly yourself and giving them a chance to accept and love you wholly and tend to your scars so you can be freed to give yourself without hesitation and pain.

Take a moment to examine yourself each time relating with a woman is becoming hard. Are you healthy enough inside to share that health with the woman you are trying to love? Are the issues that keep recurring to the point of nagging absolutely about her or are you contributing? Are you free of scars that would make your heart impenetrable??

Is this woman really hard to love?

We will talk about how to clear these scars that make our hearts impenetrable for love in another article but for now, while you try to examine yourself, please order her something from our shop. Love doesn’t have to wait for a celebration so don’t say it’s not her birthday or anniversary, sometimes it’s just appropriate and right to say I love you in a sweet way. We sell sweet treats in our online shop, order something to be delivered and leave a beautiful message along with the order to make her feel special.

Hamona. We love. Love.

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