I have done for her everything, why is she interested in other people?

So, you wonder why even after you have toiled your bones weak and bought her stuff she still runs off with another guy, or at least desire him?? Close your eyes this might be hard to take in with all the distractions. You have probably not made love to her soul. Yes, she loves the car you have bought her, and the house is so pretty with all its toys and gadgets, but it’s her. She is empty inside. She is not filled with you, by you, because you are not making love to her soul.

Have you given her your time? I mean physical time to do nothing with her but just be with her? (she feels so secure knowing she has you in cash so to speak, to know that for a moment you are stopping the world to give her yourself. It makes her feel super important.!!!

Do not underestimate the power of security a woman gets from a man. When she does not have that emotional security she does not sleep fully, she does not rest fully, she does not enjoy life fully because she can not let go and also be her own protector. She finds herself always wanting and waiting to exhale so to speak, so she can relax. And if she finds herself in this situation for long, she will put her trust in the next man who gives her listens to her and gives her his time. She feels like she needs someone to take away the burden of being her own protector. That’s how she may end up with another despite all you have bought for her.

Women love what looks like silly things because to them those things communicate care and care communicates love to her. Women want to feel loved. Have you bought her flowers regularly? Yea, I know, silly things. Flowers. They don’t talk and she definitely doesn’t eat them. But guess what, they bring beauty to her soul. They scratch her so smoothly and make her feel warm inside, that warmth that makes her long to draw you in and take you to the warmest place inside her…..

Women love cakes sweets and chocolates. Yes, still I remember. Unhealthy things that make her waistline double you think, it’s just that she knows better to not eat them every day. So it’s OK, she will keep them and eat them ever soo slowly, she doesn’t expect you to buy them every day anyway, they’d become so boring…. (funny, right?), but that’s how it is.

Have you taken her out and told her your plans away from your familiar abode? Have you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and let her see your fears? She is your keeper, right? If you have not made it look like there’s something special you trust her with, do you know that she will find a reason to try and be there to a vulnerable other who feeds her with (even if he comes up with it just to grab her attention) his fears and makes her feel important that she is in his trust???

You see, she really appreciates the beautiful house, and the powerful car you have bought her, but honestly, she needs some soo less powerful soft stuff to rhyme with the soft tissue that’s her heart.

So, why not buy her a Hamona treat from our shop right now? Yes, it’s not her birthday but she will feel special, thought about and appreciated it if you buy her a treat just to say you think about her.

Dreaming about cake sweetness makes women want to nest with anyone who would bring it for them!

Hamona. We love. Love.

lets talk fear

Let’s talk about fear today

Let’s talk about fear today. A strong man is not one that has eliminated all possible and definite sources of fear, but one who is ready to slice through all possible situations with a calm mind.

What situations you would ask? Not those that involve physical muscle even if it’s necessary but those that involve emotional muscle. Let’s take for example the case where your woman is being swayed by another man. For many a man, this will call for some kind of physical involvement, either with the woman or with the man.

Have you ever thought that you can actually settle these kinds of situations simply by trying to be understanding? There is this situation that happens with incumbents (current men). This normally is the reason voids are created in the hearts of women.

As the man in her life, you have probably given her loads of flowers and you don’t think she needs any more of that, you have taken her many places and you have run short of places to take her, you have bought her several pieces and whole cakes, you probably think there is no need to buy her Hamona treats, you have probably given her many big things you think there’s no need for small things… or actually you have not given her anything or taken her places but you have done things in the interest of your future together…. you have done much really, you think it’s enough to ride on for the rest of your lives.

But here is the thing: relationships are like flowers, you can water it diligently and it flourishes, but when you stop, it will gradually wilt because of the lack. The gradual lack is what creates the gradual void and you find your woman being lured by a new man who now is just starting to shower her with all the attention you have not showered her with for some time. She starts to glow and love it too. We all love to feel good. So rather than try to fight because you think she is making you seem inferior and she seems ungrateful for all you have done for her, it’s about time to revert her attention to your relationship by listening and trying to understand the situation you two have gotten into and begin showering her heart with desire. Again.

We rarely want to admit that even people in love can fall for others outside their affair, mainly because admitting to such is to somehow show that we are not as good as we ought to be. Many will tell you that if you have fallen for a new one, it means you never loved the first one in the first place. Wrong. Love fades especially if we do not work at maintaining it.

You may love your woman real deeply but find that she is picking on attention from another man, as it so often happens. So does that mean she has never loved you or has always lied to you? Noooo, does that call for you going physical with her in a violent way or with the new guy because you feel violated? I think not, because more often than not, we can straighten this by just listening to her why’s. This is when emotional strength comes in to banish the fear you could be having, that you could be less ideal for her and which fear makes you start feeling insecure about yourself.

When your woman is falling for another it’s not time to be afraid. It’s time to evaluate. It’s time to restart. Often times a woman will follow another man’s advances because there has been a void created in her by the way you love her. Believe me, sometimes they don’t actually go out looking but they find themselves either manipulated by sleek men who know how to recognise the void in them, or they simply slip into the feel-good feeling that comes with new interest from a new person.

I think men should normalise talking to their women in an effort to evaluate how well it’s going. And, yes, and, if a woman should voice interest in another person it shouldn’t be the beginning of a fight, but rather the beginning of a trace into where things went off track. Instead of being all scared that you are not man enough for her, it should be the time to re-evaluate yourself and re-align with her needs. After all, if she fell for you in the first place, there must have been some good in you and if she is straying, that good must have slipped or must be slipping. It’s in your best interest to help her find her way back to your heart instead of following another. Love is about hearts feeling good. So regular goodness makes good loving.

It’s possible. You have to be strong and lead your relationship to where you want it to be. You have to be an emotionally intelligent and strong leader. No need for fear, only love wins here.

Don’t forget we are still buying treats from Hamona to excite our women, by now you know that. Hit the shop and place your order now.

Hamona. We love. Love.

falling in love

Falling in love makes you vulnerable

Falling in love makes you vulnerable, reduces your energies, makes you vulnerable and leaves you feeling exposed.. That’s why a strong person will turn into jelly the moment they open up to another. Men and women were made to fulfil certain responsibilities in each other’s lives, therefore the moment they like each other, naturally the bodies start expecting each other to pick up their roles.

What makes love hurt is the failure by one party to fulfil their natural responsibilities in the other’s life. The man will wait for care from the woman, while the woman will wait for validation among other things. The moment these needs are not met, love becomes a pain. A constant pain.

Do you wish to reclaim your energies previously split when you fell in love? It’s possible. Seclude yourself and tell yourself you are all you have and you are all you’ll depend on. Sadly that means you stop loving too. You can’t have it both ways, unfortunately.

Otherwise, if you are still willing to continue loving, pick up your role and perform diligently. You owe it to your lover. You owe it to yourself. Loving is for two, not for one. Loving is for fulfilling, not for depleting. Loving is for showing, not for hiding, loving is for peace, not for fights.

Now let’s grab some delicious bites from our shop while we ponder on this important fact.

Hamona. We love. Love.

How have you been loved

So today we listen to different women’s love songs.

I thought it would be great to hear from women about how they are made to feel loved, and below are their voices…. Names changed for security purposes

He comes into your life, he opens up places you never knew existed, he gives you the energy you never knew you could feel, he gives you hope for tomorrow like you could keep it in your pocket, he makes your feet so light you might as well just be floating not walking, he fills you up and you want for nothing even if you have nothing. This is the beauty of love.

How does he love you that makes you feel all these emotions??

Wow, let me look through it…..I have felt loved when he picks me up all the time, 🤗every time he wants to take me someplace nice and that made me feel special – Patience

I feel loved because he Holds me in high esteem. I know that even behind my back he can stand proud of me. Whether am with or without his presence I feel his love for me. – Naira

My man believes in me and listens to me all the time. When I face hard times I look forward to him holding me tight and then he listens then I say everything I feel. I feel loved this way. – Jacinta

We are like best friends with my boyfriend. Even when he is at work or upcountry, he calls me before he goes to sleep and he tells me about his day. I feel like he is always here with me and I feel important to him. I feel like am the other part of him and this keeps me wanting to be my best self so I can make him happy like he makes me happy. – Rhona

My man can beat up your man 😊. OK… he is not violent but I feel like he is strong enough to protect me from all harm. When I tell him whatever is disturbing me he is always there to sort it out for me. I don’t provoke people but I don’t fear anyone because I know he will always protect me. – Mercy

I sometimes get upset and unhappy. And when my husband notices am in this mood he starts checking on me from time to time and asks if am well or happy and he is always asking what I feel like doing to be happier. I feel cared for and sometimes when am upset I smile because I know he is somewhere thinking about me. – Monica

He takes time and talks to me about what’s going on and he tries to spend time with me, he holds me close when we watch a movie and he always brings home cookies for our weekend movie time. I look forward to weekends and I feel like he is the most caring man in the world. He is so thoughtful. – Joan

My husband has the clearest mind I think. When I tell him things I can almost hear him taking them straight to his heart. I don’t know but I feel like he is extra attentive without appearing intentional. I feel like he is genuinely interested in me. I feel like a prize I tell you… – Doryn.

So there you have it. How have you loved your woman? Are these women communicating something?

Let’s buy cake while we think about it all.

Hamona. We love. Love.

Understanding: the key to meaningful lasting love and relationships

So, you meet this girl. You feel her and she feels you. You date for a while but she is always complaining about you not loving her enough. Deep down you know you do, and you are constantly discouraged by her seeming ingratitude of your love. Sometimes you feel like giving up on her, but there’s some good in her, so you have an emotionally unstable love life and it’s sometimes heartbreaking. What’s going on here?

They could be many things but if she has stayed and instead chosen to point out stuff that is not sitting in well with her, then she definitely loves you and she definitely has her thing together.

Women, save for a special type we shall talk about on their own, normal grounded women who are into you will try to voice themselves to be heard. Sometimes she may tell you stuff that hurts and you may wonder why if you do not please her she doesn’t just leave instead of giving you a headache. She does not leave because she sees a light in you, but something about the way you treat her does not communicate ‘loved’ to her and it’s standing between you two being in harmony. She does not doubt your love but she sees something that is preventing you two from reaching that perfect bliss of total give. That’s the stage at which love is strongest and she wants that. You may actually really love her but have reservations about how far into you you can let her.

When she gets this way, listen and, understand her. Understanding is like that underlying current that makes sense of love. Love deepens when there is understanding (love is only a flimsy feeling that can thin and disappear) but understanding is that which gives it roots and makes its attachment stronger. When love is coupled with understanding, even the biggest hit at love will not throw it down. Understanding is that essential to love and loving.

If she is telling you she does not feel loved, maybe you should try to understand her. Allow yourself to try to imagine how receiving what you are giving would feel if you are the recipient. But to do this you need to be grounded and self-aware yourself. You see, most times what makes us unavailable or unable to give such emotions like empathy is fear we have created around ourselves from a previous traumatic experience that prevents us from leaving the cacoons we have placed ourselves in, to venture out into other people’s space. So if you are finding it hard to leave your comfort zone for another, but want her to understand you, maybe you should master your emotions first. Because the other danger is that slowly she will try to understand you and love you too close to your fears, and then you will unintentionally send her away or keep her at bay because you are not comfortable letting anyone get into your private cocoon of fear. And that will hurt her and disappoint you.

Does she constantly tell you she is feeling unloved? See… I almost forgot to tell you to buy her something from our shop while you read on. Yea? Does she constantly tell you she feels unloved? If yes, the best place to start fixing her is deep inside you. Have you dealt with your childhood or adult life traumas? We all get trauma in the event of living its only that for some it’s deeper than others, and for some, they have not found ways to accept and deal with or just to rise above those traumas, so they keep showing up unintentionally weighing us down with fear and doubt in situations we ought to be strong and caring.

Fix yourself and get out of your cacoon, look at her and understand her, that is the perfect way to build a long-lasting stress-free relationship.

Hamona. We love. Love.

Have you ever thought that you could be the reason loving her is hard?

Sometimes, it’s not the woman making love so hard. It’s you actually.

You know how we all go through stuff that scars us and make us fearful and sceptical? You could have gone through a bad affair earlier before you met her. Maybe you grew up with an auntie whose behaviour with men you did not approve of, or your mother actually, you did not appreciate the way she treated your father or your father, he had a demeaning way of treating women that made you believe its the normal way and you can’t understand why she seems to disagree with your ways; or it was an ex-girlfriend who treated you horribly and scarred you. You got broken whether directly or indirectly.

Our society is not really one that’s known to address emotional stuff, so you can carry around your scarred self and keep giving him to women. These women may have good intentions towards you but little, little things they do could act as triggers that set off the bomb that already resides inside you.

This may explode on her and make her confused as she does not see how she could have been at fault. Or you may fault her for everything that your auntie, mother or earlier women in your life did, bundle her up with them and with time make her frustrated; or, it could be that your earlier unpleasant experiences led you to be closed up, and here she is, trying to love a whole you not knowing that you can not give her all of you because part of you is not really available.

She becomes either nagging trying to bring you out so she can get all of you, or suspicious that someone is taking the part you are not giving her, or worse still she becomes desperate and hurt believing she does not deserve you.

When love starts out it can be so exciting and fulfilling until she starts loving you towards that place where your scars are, and you close yourself off and get fright and flight which gets her confused.

Before you blame her for being hard to love, have you let yourself go in this relationship? Have you trusted her with your scars and seen how she can tend to them or are you running around trying to find places to hide them while blaming her for chasing you around and not understanding you?

Love is about openness. The two souls involved have to open and unite and if you open just partially then love can not blossom. So, before you put it on the woman, ask yourself if you have given her your all.

Love is about taking risks too, letting another see your good, your bad and your ugly yourself and giving them a chance to accept and love you wholly and tend to your scars so you can be freed to give yourself without hesitation and pain.

Take a moment to examine yourself each time relating with a woman is becoming hard. Are you healthy enough inside to share that health with the woman you are trying to love? Are the issues that keep recurring to the point of nagging absolutely about her or are you contributing? Are you free of scars that would make your heart impenetrable??

Is this woman really hard to love?

We will talk about how to clear these scars that make our hearts impenetrable for love in another article but for now, while you try to examine yourself, please order her something from our shop. Love doesn’t have to wait for a celebration so don’t say it’s not her birthday or anniversary, sometimes it’s just appropriate and right to say I love you in a sweet way. We sell sweet treats in our online shop, order something to be delivered and leave a beautiful message along with the order to make her feel special.

Hamona. We love. Love.

Fight for her love

You are interested in her? Fight for her love, it’s her you want

So you would fight for her love, right? Fight to get her back, fight to have her still fight to get her?? Good.

So, how do you fight for her love ??

Do you fight by just saying the words? Do you fight by chasing away everyone from her so you be the only one? Do you fight by bringing harm to her physical being and all beings who lay claim on her???

Or do you fight the wining way? Being there to make her smile when she is unsure of what she is feeling? Or walking with her through that disturbing and sometimes inconvenient situation for you, but walking with her anyway?

Or by being her rock where she will long to hide when she feels vulnerable, or by making her feel like your cherished flower every time she remembers you? (you asked how they do that????), hehe, we shall see about that. Do you fight for her love by being there for her in significant and insignificant ways? Do you fight by buying her Hamona Delicious Treats??

Fight to win. Women are very easy (well maybe a teensy weensy bit complicated) but on the whole easy to love beings. When she seems to be looking in another direction don’t go for the stick, think a bit more about how you have handled her. Have you bought her delicious Hamona treats without reason?

Women love big things but it’s the small things that touch them deepest. Give her time, talk to her, listen to her endless stories (attentively by the way), without rushing to give her advice unless she has asked, and helping her go through whatever she is going through if you feel your kind of help will be very useful? That’s how you win her. That’s how she stays by your side and does not feel the need to look elsewhere.

Take the first step, for now, order her some delicious Hamona treats now. Hamona treats may make it easier for you to win her, don’t wait for things to get out of hand, because then you may need more than a teat to fix. Order her something now.

Hamona. We love. Love.

Could She be Cheating on you?

I know. She has said a hundred times that she loves you. Right? She has demonstrated a hundred times that she loves you. Right? You’ve been sure of her love in the past but lately, you feel like something is off… it’s as if she is not that into you…. a lot… even if you don’t want to wrap your mind around it you feel like there could be someone else taking her attention… could it be true or are you just being insecure??? Quiet. Let’s talk about this slowly, but in the meantime, order her a delicious Hamona treat and keep her busy thinking about you while we discuss her.

Done? Good. Now, is there someone she is focusing on that’s making you feel like you are slowly losing her? 🤔 Of course, there is 😊. And, no, it’s not another man. It’s herself.

Women were meant to be loved by men, now we shall talk about love on its own in another article.

Women were meant to be protected by men, to be provided for by men, in return, they were meant to feel good about themselves so as to please and submit to their men. When women feel good about themselves they melt into submission towards the men who make them feel good. So, have you been making your woman feel good? Could it be that you forgot about her so she is depending on her own love reserves to feel good about herself? Have you been offering protection to your woman against all potentially harmful situations, like disagreements with your family, abuse from her employers or workmates or even friends, financial dependency on her friends, and even protecting her against her own feelings of insecurity stemming from you improved interaction with other women, your increased absence from working hard and coming home late, or your increased lack of attention towards her needs?? Have you been her rock thru it all?? Trivial. Right???

Have you been providing your time and attention for her emotional needs? Have you been providing her with little gifts to show her you think about her even when you are working late at the office? Have you provided her with explanations and allowed her to voice her fears about things she has shown concern about?? Have you been there for her in ways men were meant to be there for women???

You see, much as this may sound trivial and biased, women are meant to lean on men for their well being. What happens is that when she has no one to lean on she leans on herself. That’s why you find that when girls or women are single they seem composed independent and happy. That’s what draws you to her. She is fun to be with, she is happy because she has herself to keep herself happy and composed. But when you come into her life, she lets her defence down because now she has allowed a protector (you) into her life. She starts expecting you to take care of her while she cuts down on how she hustled because now she has to devote some of her time to nurture you while you protect and provide for her.

Do you now see why she would switch back to the independent happy without your input woman if you stopped doing what you were meant to do in her life?? Of course, it’s not another man taking her attention, (although with time if you do not care to bring her back into your care she may find another man to open up to) but right now, she is loving herself, she is protecting herself from pain and all undesirable feelings, and she is paying less attention to you because to put it bluntly, you have stopped being of use to her. Do you get me?

Now before we get lost in this conversation, have you ordered a delicious Hamona treat for your woman? Please do if you haven’t yet. And when you are done, try to answer the above questions for yourself as honestly as you possibly can, and if you find you have neglected her in some way, gear up, melt her with love…

Hamona. We love. Love.

Why are women so difficult to love?

Why are women so difficult to love?

Why are women so difficult to love? And you know this love thing. It can seem so hard yet it shouldn’t be. It can wretch your heart, yet it needn’t to, it can make you doubt the ground you are standing on. But it need not be.

Love is seen from a different viewpoint for each sex, and for the woman, which is the easiest and clearest viewpoint by the way, it gets hard to understand why you the man don’t see it her way.

Honestly, she only wants you to believe in her. To show her she means something good to you with your action, to feel protected by you, and then she will take on the world. She will devote her whole being to making sure your being is comfortable, she will lay down her heart for you to cushion in whatever situation. That’s a woman.

So, why is that so hard to do, why are so many men walking around with confused minds and throbbing heads because of these women? It’s mainly because men love women the way they wish to be loved. It simply does not cut it for women. If as a man when faced with trying moments you need time alone to figure things out, for a woman it will be the time she needs you closest. When her world seems upside down, she needs you closer for reassurance that it will flop back to normal again.

Trouble comes when you as a man see her troubled and you keep your distance to help her figure herself out, What happens instead is that she feels abandoned and let down by the only protector, provider, comforter to whom she has devoted her life to. Then you come back to her when you think she has had enough time to sort herself out and she is not receptive to your advances. You then feel disturbed because to you she is not understanding and appreciative that you have given her space to sort herself. What then happens is frustration from your side and that’s when you start saying women don’t know what they want. They do; you have just not tried to cross to her side and understand their point of view.

How else do you love women apart from being there when they are experiencing emotional upheavals? Get her little gifts to show her that you think about her. It doesn’t have to be an expensive something, although if you can afford it, I don’t see why not. After all she is your queen, the target of your efforts, whose happiness is the reward you so aspire for. Show her she is worth it. Remind her that she is the one you have chosen. Many times you know that in your heart but have not translated it in a language she understands, then you keep wondering why she does not get it that’s its for her happiness and provision and protection that you push yourself to be better each day. Or is it not?? 🤔

Buy your woman some sweet treat from Hamona. These treats are made with love and will certainly remind her she is the object of your attention. Remember when she is happy she will give you all that she is for your comfort and excitement.

At Hamona we love. Love.